You know the feeling. You’re at the end of your rope. You want to choke
somebody … or scream … or punch their lights out. But you can’t. Not at work
or at the store or your in-laws’ house. So you blow it off. Maybe smile and
excuse yourself. But inside you are seething.

Here are some tips to help you let off the steam.

1. Remove yourself from the situation. Breathe. Really acknowledge your
anger and how it feels within your body. Don’t run away away
from it. Congratulate yourself on taking steps to deal with your anger.

2. Allow yourself to be angry. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel
and don’t criticize yourself. Your experience is valuable.

3. Realize that anger is not your enemy (and neither is the person or
event you’re angry about). Talk to yourself about your anger
and listen to your internal voice about why it’s there.

4. Respect yourself by letting your anger surface in a safe place.
Punch a pillow, go for a run, yell. Do whatever you need to do
(within reason) to let off the pressure. Once you feel
more centered, remind yourself that you are not your anger.

5. Reach beyond your anger to determine its source. Did you feel threatened
by something? Allow a space for some quiet reflection and listen to your
own internal wisdom. Be gentle with yourself and realize that you’re not
trying to solve anything here, you’re just looking for the true cause of
the angry feeling. Once you determine it, you can decide what to do, if
anything. Often, just realizing the true cause is liberating.

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